Discipline disrupts distraction…
returning to practice
Lack of motivation
Depression, anxiety, listlessness
I just don’t feel like myself
These are just a few of the sentiments that come into my inbox, my DMs, and my online meetups these days. And, to be honest, they are thoughts that have made their way into my own current experience.
I’ve had to dig deep to find the oomph to show up over the past 9 months, to do that which doesn’t give me a serotonin high, doesn’t satisfy that fast “fix it” hit. Nope, it’s the same ol’ practice, with some minor adaptations, that I’ve been showing up for over decades.
The practice doesn’t make it all better, and I can’t tick it off my list as finished or complete.
However, somewhere in there, the practice helps me remember. I remember that despite all the things it doesn’t do and can’t do, showing up on my mat allows me to be more present for this moment as it is, to feel less pulled by my preferences, old habits, patterns, and addictions, and to be a little less desirous of the tantalizing highs, dramas, and dopamine hits of life.
Practice is the simple path—there are no big applause for showing up silently on my mat. It doesn’t even play well on social media.
But practice provides a steadiness when the bottom falls out, when all of the things we thought were certain fall away, when all that we thought held it together becomes unglued, when we’re in a free fall.
It’s the groundless ground, allowing us to remember impermanence as a way of being in awe of any moment alive.
All moments. Even the grimy, uncomfortable, grinding moments can be ones we don’t run from, because they too are life.
Like this moment now—this very long 9 month moment when we might find our attention continuously running to all that’s NOT happening. My practice allows me the space to see IS happening, to feel what this moment can gift us, and to remember this is my life.
Tired, overwhelmed, over informed, under inspired?
Well, hello DISCIPLINE. Discipline disrupts distraction.
This doesn’t mean we won’t feel all the feels. But what comes next? Do we stay mired in the muck or do we do the work to step into a wider view? Tapas is the practice of tending the fire that may help burn through my lethargy, apathy, stuckness and to illuminate a path back to myself and bring my compassion into action.
So, here it is: I’m committing to 40 days of practice in January and February. Also, in February I will offer an 11 month teacher training program, both as the guide and always as the student.